‘ Why? Why am I not happy? ‘

Happiness is subjective. Too subjective. When someone asks you that question, they’d probably be millions of answers swarming into your head.

So much, that it clouds your mind and drown your positivity.

I’ve been thinking about the decisions and choices I’ve made so far in my life. Most of all, I’ve been thinking about regrets. Everyone loves to live without them, yet they’re always there, like stubborn stains on a school uniform.

Then once again I break it all down in my mind and come up with another one of my silly conjectures on why I have regrets.

It’s because I make choices in life. I’ve figured out the difference between choices, and decisions.

Making a choice is like making a half hearted decision, a quick fix to a problem. Something that you’re ‘okay with regretting, if it all goes down‘ .

A choice can be altered, like telling the waiter you’ll have iced tea instead of juice, after you’ve made your order.

Making a decision on the other hand, is making a fully commited choice, one that you’re assured that you will not live to regret.

A decision is when you’ll settle for nothing more, or nothing less than what you asked for.

So, why are you not happy? Stop making choices to be happy. Stop telling yourself you’ll be happy, then throw it away because your friend starts ignoring you or when you flunk a test.

Make a decision to be happy, and follow through with it.

Take away your ‘unless’s and swap it with ‘even if’s.

I won’t be happy unless I have a girlfriend. will be happy even if I don’t have a girlfriend.

I won’t be happt unless I have a car. will be happy even if i have to take public transport.

Then you’ll be happy. Because the best way to find something, is to stop looking for it.

Don’t confuse it with optimism however. Being optimistic and making a decision to be happy, though seemingly similar, is different in many ways.

There are times when optimism is bad. Yes, bad. Like everything else, if you take a wrong perspective on it.

Say you’re shipwrecked on an island and you tell yourself ‘oh it’s okay, someones gonna come rescue me‘ , and that stops you from making efforts to get off the island, like starting signal fires or even building a raft.

There are also times where optimism leads to you lowering your expectations, but thats another conjecture for another day.