Fruity.

If I didn’t have enough sense, I’d have started this post by cursing the different races in Singapore, blaming them for everything bad that happened to me.

Those that bullied me when I was puny, those that said I was too ugly to show my face.

Racism, prejudice and hatred. I liked how Eva talked about how school is just like the streets, and the streets is just like prison.

Politics, racial prejudice and simply hating the one guy who is different. I can related to the movie, to the freedom writers. I like my class, they’re nice people. I feel comfortable in class.

I don’t like my school however. I dread walking around my school, I detest getting aggressive stares
from people I don’t even know, and the occasional taunt thrown across the floor. Funny, how when I think back, none of these things used to bother me the way they do now.

You’re right, I probably ‘ Think too much’ . I spend way too much time alone. I get lost in my thoughts too often. I tend to let my thoughts take me away and just drift along. Theories, stories, scripts, poetic lines and whatnot, they float right in when I’m drifting away.

I’m 18. Personally, I believe I’ve seen much more of the true colours of human nature than most of my peers. Life isn’t exactly a rainbow and a pot of gold at the end. Isn’t it always like that in movies?

Someone sees the future, or sees something in Man that he doesn’t morally agree with, gets depressed and drinks his life away. I do not boast of maturity, intelligence, or modesty itself.

I am who I am, I know what I can do. I see things, I know the thoughts that run through my mind.

Freedom. The big dream.

For freedom, there is no limit to what Man would do to attain.

We want it. We love it. Maybe even lust for it. We want to be free form oppression, be it from your unreasonable parents or the big bully in school. We desire so much to be free from the threadmill of life.

Yet to achive total freedom, one must be in captivity. Take me for example ( well, it is my blog afterall) ,

People I don’t even know, who don’t know me personally, hate me. For the very sake of hating someone. I am not threatened by them physically, but deep down I know it affects me emotionally.

I would also like to say that I am not perpetually depressed or ‘Emo’ , because you imbeciles that pretend to read my blog by skimming through my entries and somehow coming to the conclusion that I’m ‘just another emo kid blogger’ , can just fuck off, because I don’t need you, you’re not a reader. You’re a hypocrite.

As i was saying, they hate me. Now, I could go right ahead and hate them back, be it for their dressing styles or their race or whatsoever, but if i do, would it solve anything?

On the other hand, if I just ignore them, I know I’d crumble on the inside, slowly but surely. Yes, I’m emotionally weak at times, i usually depend on anger to boost my emotional strength. I’m not an angry person, so it doesn’t work out all the time, see.

It’s not easy, fighting for freedom. Standing up for yourself and what you believe in. It dawned upon me that sometimes

” Believing in yourself is harder than following a religion. “

I’m tempted to elaborate, but I shall not. Not today. Not now. Just allow your own individual perspectives to give you an interpretation, and go with it.