Fruity.

It’s scary.

Seeing a psychiatrist. Telling your problems to someone you don’t know, and probably never get to know, since they have a professional obligation to fulfill, to not get emotionally attached or involved in any way.

Irony in motion though, how they’re not supposed to judge you, yet they have to look out for every subtle gesture, every little detail about you. Besides that, sly as they come, I’m too obsessed to not interpret everything they do. Sometimes they ask you questions, to which they know the answers would be a lies. They make you lie to get the truth.

That apart, the usual question. Why the dressing? A persona? He asked. No, I replied. I just like it.

Of course, wanting to find out the real root of it all, he probed. I told him how I am sensitive to the thoughts others have about me, be it good or bad to which he asked, ” Then why do it? why put yourself in a position where others look at you in a different light? “

I thought about it for a while. I’ve never really thought about why I dress the way I do, or had any explanation for my appearance, why it is the way it is.

After much thought and a slab of awkward silence and dead air, I gave him my answer.

If a girl was raped and as a result, killed three men in the name of sweet revenge, as much as we try to sympathize with the girl, she’s a murderer, no less.

If a man has a drug problem and as a result, resorts to stealing to support his drug habit, he’d be viewed by society as a junkie and a thief.

What if it was you? What if you’ve been down the same road. You’d understand. Without condoning or condemning, you’d understand better why people do the things they do.

And so, you are less likely to judge.

Because people view me in a different light, be it the piercings, the clothes or the hair, I know better than to stereotype others. I know better than to judge someone based on how they look. I know better than to associate someone with a certain belief or concept just because they look the part.

So why? Why do I choose this appearance even though others might look at me differently and judge me?

Because it makes me a better person.